I feel for Lolo Jones’ big secret. The dating world is tough and things that make you different can be uncomfortable to share with someone you’re just getting to know.

My little secret?

“So, um, I don’t really eat meat…”

If a dude has contemplated whether to date vegetarian or not, revealing my pescetarian lifestyle (mostly vegetarian) can be an intimidating topic to bring up… especially when dudes love their burgers & wings. Why does it matter?

People tend to generalize once you reveal a piece of information. When my former co-workers learned about my sustainable lifestyle, I was the reason no one wanted to reveal how much they actually printed.  New friends will go out of their way to tell me what they recycle (“Jules! I found a place to recycle my beer can!”) and my Mom will show me her reusable bag, beaming with pride.  While this blog and being green is extremely important to me, people can also assume I’m judgmental.  Hey, it’s not like I’m sharing those thoughts out loud… 😉

I hate having to explain my eating habits, so I try to keep it short with “I don’t really eat meat.” How can I say it without sounding like an asshole or a hypocrite? “I really don’t think how meat is produced in the USA is good for the environment OR my body, so quite frankly I try not to eat it 95% of the time. But I know I only live once, so there will be a rare occasion (once every other month?) where I’ll have a bite of meat since I was a carnivore for 25+ years? But most of the time I politely decline meat.”

Anyway, I’m sure I’m not the only single lady out there that has to cope with carnivorous men (or women) in the dating world!  After a quick Google search, there are tips for men on how to date vegetarian ‘species‘, even giving them the proper pronunciation of “these” phylum. Here’s some tips for how can you survive the dating world and freely date vegetarian (or vegan/pescetarian/flexitarian):

• Accept most dudes (and chicks) will eat some dead meat on occasion. Unless you restrict your habits to “date vegetarian or bust”, don’t get upset.
• I enjoy the vegetarian/carnivore “litmus test”.  If you’re at a restaurant and looking to share something, see if your date will ask if the dish can be made vegetarian. (Hint: often time dishes can be modified).  If he doesn’t ask, add a few points onto the douche meter.
• Have an open mind. (Realize that your dating partner will have to as well…)
• Want to cook at home? Try cooking something where you can easily prepare the meat & other part of the meal separately. For example, tacos or burritos with various toppings are an easy ‘choose your adventure’ meal for a comfy, home date vegetarian style.
• Don’t be afraid to speak up. If you know a restaurant only has 1 crappy veg option, try suggesting a more diverse place.
• On the flip side, don’t suggest only vegetarian restaurants if your partner enjoys meat. Compromise.
• For the ever popular “Where do you get your protein” question, feel free to respond, “I manage.” No explanation necessary. (And if someone really challenges you, ask them where they get their vitamin K”.)
• And remember, Vedge is one of the highest rated restaurants in Philadelphia friendly for a date that’s vegetarian-or for meat eater friendly.

Readers, have you had any dating snafus when it comes to the meat/veggie conversation? Any advice to share? Any tips to creatively date vegetarian style?

Photo: Jon Keegan

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Julie Hancher is the co-founder and Executive Director of Green Philly, an independent media organization making sustainability accessible, affordable and actionable. Since launching Green Philly in 2008, she has grown it from a passion project into a leading voice for local climate storytelling, pairing impactful journalism with community events and experiences. Julie is a frequent speaker on climate, media innovation and the future of local journalism, and is the creator of SustainPHL and EcoFair. Outside of Green Philly, you can find her hiking, biking, traveling, or exploring Philadelphia. View all posts by Julie Hancher