Categories: Philly

Philadelphia Lowers Bar to “Top 10” for Greenworks

Mayor Nutter shocked environmentalists in Philadelphia today when he announced that he was lowering his ambition for sustainability in our city. Rather than aiming to be the greenest city in the USA in Greenworks Philadelphia plans, Nutter wants to hit less sustainable goals in lieu of reaching the top 10. As he mentioned today in a press conference:

“Just like the rest of Philadelphia and especially our sports team – the Eagles, Sixers, Flyers and Phillies, we don’t need to be the best to prove our dedication. We can settle for almost reaching the best without claiming the number one spot. We’re not even the fattest city anymore! Not the healthiest, most attractive, nor a travel destination. Why should our greening efforts be any different?”

The Greenworks plan is knocking down its 15 sustainability targets to a solid 10 and discouraging composting where it costs too much. Philly Spring Cleanup Day will skip next year to become bi-yearly. And the successful Recyclebank program will deduct points for residents recycling over 10 pounds of eligible products each week. As Streets Department commissioner Mr. DeLeon summarized, “People keep throwing their dirty bottles, dime bags and soiled plastic bags out their windows and we’re tired of this UnLitter Us campaign trying to convince them to stop.”

Readers, what do you think of the new plans? Does it meet your expectations for our dirty city?

 

Photo: Axis Philly

 

Happy April Fools!! 😉 In case you couldn’t figure it out, this is obviously satire and our April Fools fun.

 

Julie Hancher

Julie Hancher is Editor-in-Chief of Green Philly, sharing her expertise of all things sustainable in the city of brotherly love. She enjoys long walks in the park with local beer and greening her travels, cooking & cat, Sir Floofus Drake.

Recent Posts

Rally Against Rate Hikes, Free ‘How City Council Works’ Training, Native Plants Guide & more

Catch up on the latest sustainability news: 25 Philly-Area Solar for Schools grants awarded. Lawmakers…

5 days ago

How to match your dollars with your values: Invest in less plastic, not fossil fuels.

Green Century has helped investors and businesses support the planet, not polluters, for over 30…

7 days ago

Can a greener Philly reduce crime?

In a bid to improve public safety, quality of life initiatives are bringing brighter lights…

1 week ago

Ride of Silence, Brownfields Cleanup, Solar in Schools, & More

Catch up on this week's sustainability news: New public orchard and gateway garden at Penn…

2 weeks ago

Sustainability with substance: How local green entrepreneurs strive for success

Consumers want authentic sustainability from suppliers. Without flashy funding or shortcuts, here's how these local…

2 weeks ago

Eco-Explainer: SEPTA is in a Funding Crisis. What’s the deadline to save it?

The transit agency may look drastically different if Harrisburg doesn’t act. Here are the key…

2 weeks ago