Although I previously spent $50 on a ‘humane’ turkey, I’ll likely go meat-free this Thursday. And the worst part? The comments from family around the table, about my seemingly-from-afar-prestigious decision.
Don’t fret, meatless readers. I brainstormed a few comebacks to avoid awkward silences around the table.
Dreaded Question: “Why aren’t you eating the turkey?”
1. Witty response: “I’m trying to quit.”
2. Wittier response: “I’m saving room for more wine.” (or in my case, whiskey.)
3. Polite response: “I’m eating less (or no) meat for my health.” Whether that includes weight, heart disease, etc., this answer doesn’t leave room for much of a discussion.
4. Ask-for-judgement response: “Raising meat requires much more energy, waste and resources than plants, so I’m going meat-free for sustainability.”
5. Reserved-for-the-obnoxious-drunk-relative response: “Have you seen the conditions of those turkeys? They’re stuffed to the gills, surrounded by dead or diseased animals and get doses of antibiotics. Plus, some are fattened up to the point they can’t even reproduce. Who would be happy in that life? And you’re putting those hormones and GMOs in YOUR body.”
Do none of these fit your style? Salon has more elaborate (and creative) vegetarian responses to carnivore interrogations this Thanksgiving.
Plus, with a slew of drool-worthy vegetarian sides, you won’t even notice the dead bird on the table.
Staying in the city? Here’s a few ways to make sure you eat local this Thanksgiving.
Vegetarian readers, what are your sauciest comebacks? Omnivore readers, what are your questions (so we can prepare)…
Check out the latest sustainability news: Office of Sustainability releases 2025 Climate Action Update. OSS…
From Malvern to Massachusetts, the first blind birding event showed accessibility in action. Chester County…
More than 500 residents advocated for change, leading to 40% longer crosswalk times on Girard…
Check out the latest sustainability news: City Council votes to protect one of the city’s…
Here’s how the city plans to retrofit the aging housing stock and support existing repair…
From storytelling workshops to seed swaps, they’re cultivating more than just vegetables in Philly and…