Although I previously spent $50 on a ‘humane’ turkey, I’ll likely go meat-free this Thursday. And the worst part? The comments from family around the table, about my seemingly-from-afar-prestigious decision.
Don’t fret, meatless readers. I brainstormed a few comebacks to avoid awkward silences around the table.
Dreaded Question: “Why aren’t you eating the turkey?”
1. Witty response: “I’m trying to quit.”
2. Wittier response: “I’m saving room for more wine.” (or in my case, whiskey.)
3. Polite response: “I’m eating less (or no) meat for my health.” Whether that includes weight, heart disease, etc., this answer doesn’t leave room for much of a discussion.
4. Ask-for-judgement response: “Raising meat requires much more energy, waste and resources than plants, so I’m going meat-free for sustainability.”
5. Reserved-for-the-obnoxious-drunk-relative response: “Have you seen the conditions of those turkeys? They’re stuffed to the gills, surrounded by dead or diseased animals and get doses of antibiotics. Plus, some are fattened up to the point they can’t even reproduce. Who would be happy in that life? And you’re putting those hormones and GMOs in YOUR body.”
Do none of these fit your style? Salon has more elaborate (and creative) vegetarian responses to carnivore interrogations this Thanksgiving.
Plus, with a slew of drool-worthy vegetarian sides, you won’t even notice the dead bird on the table.
Staying in the city? Here’s a few ways to make sure you eat local this Thanksgiving.
Vegetarian readers, what are your sauciest comebacks? Omnivore readers, what are your questions (so we can prepare)…
Catch up on the latest sustainability news: Transit advocates demand better SEPTA funding. On Tuesday…
Part Two of Every Voice, Every Vote research revealed that Philly takes pride in community…
The Green Building United Groundbreaker Awards celebrated local innovative projects using passive house, LEED and…
How Penn Treaty Park got its name may be legend, but the community’s commitment to…
Catch up on the latest sustainability news: Fall Nature Challenge starts. The Academy of Natural…
$90 billion in investments could reshape the energy landscape, but community voices and renewable alternatives…